Lets go back to the beginning to understand why we are doing what we do …

What is Lateral Violence?

Back in 2012 the sad news of the passing of a young girl in a remote community who was subjected to ongoing lateral violence really impacted on us here at Lateral Love.

As part of our going back to the beginning posts we are revisiting Part 2 today to remind ourselves of our original purpose in tackling these serious issues in the way that we have.

Lateral violence is present at every single level within our society and when we start to recognise the behaviours in ourselves and others, we can really see the level of reach where this debilitating negative practice has taken a strong hold.

Please read our perspectives with an open mind and an open heart and if this resonates with you please share with as many people as you can with the aim of starting the conversations within your own families and communities.

Lateral violence is an extremely personal and confronting topic, through our experience every individual does have different feelings about it. Because of this there is no room for malice and cultural safety should be the ultimate priority for us all to allow the conversations that need to take place.

We must all come together and share our information whilst trying not to overreact on a personal level.

This aspect alone is terribly confronting, even with all the knowledge and understanding that continue to grow within both myself and Uncle Brian as individuals around lateral violence and lateral love, it is a daily effort to keep our own minds on task and dealing with the ingrained lateral violence is a personal choice and battle we also face. This internal chatter, what we refer to as ‘the lateral violence in your head’ is what manifests into confusion, misconceptions and poor communication, and ultimately leads to feelings that impact on our own self worth and capabilities.

The difficulty comes not only for each of us as individuals in attempting to manage our own personal feelings and responses, but also with the family, friends and colleagues that we choose to share with, and the difficult conversations that this topic will undoubtedly bring to the surface.

We know it requires strength and courage to deal with these issues and conversations, but we have faith that each and every one of us can push beyond our everyday limitations for the sake of our children and the generations yet to come.

Some of the feelings we can expect to be exposed include, but are not limited to, the following:

– Anger

– Disappointment

– Fear

– Grief

– Guilt

– Isolation

– Feeling Overwhelmed

– Relief

– Sadness

– Shame

– Threatened and Defensive

One thing is for certain, we will all have a different reaction, view and perspective which will need to be respected and nurtured along the way. It is ok to have a different oppinion to others, and we must learn to communicate respectfully and to allow this difference without getting caught up in the conflict and drama that many of us have been used to in the past.

Each of us will be ready to deal with our layers of trans-generational trauma, pain and suffering in our own space and time, but the one thing we can do collectively is have the strength to lead by example and with conviction. Start the awkward conversations and force ourselves to share information regardless of ego or personal gain. Share with each other and bring back to life that lore that gave us our beautiful ways, our caring, sharing, nurturing, love and respect.

Lateral violence happens to all people, within all cultures across the world, but the type of lateral violence we started talking about back in 2012 related specifically to Aboriginal and Islander people in this country, our own families and communities.

As Aboriginal people, the first nations people of this land we need a collective healing and we need it to come from within our own families and communities. Aboriginal people need to reconcile the rift that was created when this land was colonised.

Whilst we were denigrated to the flora and fauna act, our land, spirit and culture was divided up and handed out to the subjects of the crown as parcels of land (our land that was declared terra nullias) with which to form the stability and foundations for their children and grandchildren to prosper into the collective non-Aboriginal Australian society where many enjoy what has become know as ‘the lucky country’ over the past 300 years. Aboriginal people were systematically stripped of this very same priviledge, there was no more stability and foundation for us to continue to propser as we had done for 800,000 years prior to colonisation, to hand down to our children and grandchildren.

In no way does this conversation take away from the pain and suffering of any other culture or their experiences as this too would be a form of lateral violence. Our dead people are equally as important as every other person dead people, all of us who have experienced losing a loved one at the hand of lateral violence or through suicide are equally devestating.

There is healing required on such a vast scale that if every initiative could be built on Caring, Sharing, Nurturing, Love and Respect what a change we could expect to see. These principals need to take front and centre in all of our thought processes, actions and conversations, in everything we do.

Each and every person within our immediate circle needs to feel loved, valued and appreciated for the shift in consciousness to occur and create the ripple effect out into our families, communities and societies at large. When we do this and our motivations are for nothing more that the betterment of the human condition, the sky really is the limit.

We have chosen to utilise modern technology to share this information as widely as possible and in doing so have found it necessary to address some social networking issues immediately as they link directly to lateral violence.

Social networking is a wonderful tool that we can use to connect and indeed, re-connect with many people as technology bridges distance that is no longer a barrier to caring and sharing. The lack of verbal and non-verbal cues which become lost through this form of communication does however run the risk of causing additional distress to people on a journey of healing.

We all need to remember this when reading and posting on threads and other peoples pages and walls. What we share in cyberspace it is there forever! How it translates to the receiver may not be how it sounded in our mind when we typed our views or responses.

Most importantly, when we are hurt and our spirit is low we can feel threatened and if we are not particularly good at managing our feelings and emotions what comes out can be very negative or abusive particularly online. This is also a form of Lateral violence and can very quickly escalate to cyber bullying.

Please, and we cannot stress this point enough, when you read something disrespectful and negative about yourself, it leaves an imprint on our minds and reinforces into our subconscious much longer than that which is spoken verbally in the heat of debate.

From our own personal experience we know the damage that can come from a text message or email sent in the heat of emotion, unfortunately it can be read and re-read with the negative message reaching our loved ones again and again. We may get over whatever it was that caused our initial distress, but we can not erase the message from our loved ones phone or computer causing irreversible damage that can take years to repair and as we have all seen in mainstream media, this type of behaviour has also lead some people to suicide.

The reason we need to understand the true meaning of lateral violence is this; our children need to move beyond the survival mechanisms that we, the older generations, needed to survive. This survival instinct served us well and allowed you and I to be here, and yes we did survive. Our children need us to come together and give them a strong base of solidarity and culture to help them to grow and shape their way into the future; a solid base that is free from the binds of lateral violence and oppression and is firmly rooted in lateral love and the principals of caring, sharing, nurturing, love and respect.

Again the wisdom of Auntie Cheri Yavu Kama Harathunian explains lateral violence in a way that resonates with us and expresses the true meaning that we are speaking about on this journey, “This ‘yellow snake’, this lateral violence has been curled up in our peoples living moments for three centuries, because it sinuously crawled amongst our peoples for over the last 300 years. We were not only forced to suffer the invasion of 1788. We have been carrying that suffering with us all of this time and our ancestors learned very well and copied the violence that was perpetrated against them and used what they learned to ensure that with violence they would individually survive”…”Even in our survival techniques there was violence, because peoples had to go up against each other, go up against their loved ones, anyone that they saw who was a threat to their own survival. We learned to turn our faces away from each other, and began to wear ‘Big Shame’ in our waking and sleeping hours. We learned to be ‘takers’ not ‘givers’ and then the government blest us with welfare and for years we did not realise it but our minds were being conditioned to accept that this was our lot and we developed and then suffered from and some of us still suffer from a welfare mentality. We learned that it was okay to hit, stamp on, fight with, brutalise, torment each other just to get on, and become like the invaders because they were getting a better deal out of life”. “We were taught by religion that “White was right and black was evil”. and we learned to hate ourselves, our culture, our languages, and our own God given ways of being who we are; First Nations peoples with many nation names.  Political violence forced our ancestors to become slaves, victims and perpetrators of the violence that seemed to work and help the invaders get on and become something.  We turned into each other, and began to practice the violence that we saw and here we are today.  But it is our young, our beautiful young ones who now openly manifest this insidious thing that takes them to that place where they feel so hopeless and helpless. They go to that bleak place where for them the only solution to their pain is to take control of their own choice to take their most precious gift – life – and they choose to go to sleep forever to ease their suffering and their pain and their disconnection from themselves, their family, their people, their culture, and their sacred lands. They haven’t even lived! That ‘yellow snake’ that Lateral violence has to be addressed”. ~ Cheri Yavu Kama Harathunian 2012

We need to go beyond the surface of what we know, beyond the reactionary world we have come to live by that has done its darnedest to numb our spirituality and ignore our souls original purpose. Knowing lateral violence, and that it has underpinned our existence, is the first step to healing for each and every one of us.

We commend you all for being open and taking the time to read about this important subject. No matter how painful it is, things can only improve through our understanding and support of one another.



An Important Message from Brian Butler

I am disturbed that Perpetual Grief is taking the toll on Aboriginal and Islander (including the Torres Strait) peoples.

This perpetual grief is cancerous and is reducing the ability for our Nations to be anywhere near confident that Aboriginal culture including the Torres Straits culture will be as intact as it should be generations into the future.

It is my belief that when we take into account that an infant Aboriginal child will have attended over 300 funerals before they reach the age of 25, and in some cases a far greater number of funerals, we cannot be prepared to accept from anyone that our young generations should be able to learn the same way other children do and can.

Yet people have the audacity to continue to say our kids are dumb and continue to tell them that they will never make it in the mainstream. Some teachers in the school system have attitudes that cause them to say “not another funeral!”, when a child has to attend their family members funerals.

It is a wonder any of us have any tears left to shed.

Our children think it is normal to have multiple funerals week after week.

People who are lucky enough to have a job cannot get released from their place of work to attend family funerals without losing pay and entitlements.

Elders continue to be denied help to get to the funerals of their families.

I want help from all Nations to stand with me and stand up for justice, family and social reinvestment.

The first step for us to take is to reconcile with each other, cut out any family feuding under the principles of Lateral Love.

Yours in Unity through Lateral Love & Spirit of Care for all humankind,


“Aboriginalisation is the only way forward for all of humanity. By placing the focus for learning fairly and squarely on the principles of caring, sharing and respect as practiced by our Elders we will bring about the necessary change to enable us to work together for the betterment of this world.” – Brian & Nicola Butler Lateral Love Australia


Recommended Resources – Lateral Love Australia supports Four Arrows Teaching Truly: A Curriculum to Indigenize Mainstream Education

“Aboriginalisation is the only way forward for all of humanity. By placing the focus for learning fairly and squarely on the principles of caring, sharing and respect as practiced by our Elders we will bring about the necessary change to enable us to work together for the betterment of this world.” – Brian & Nicola Butler Lateral Love Australia

This critical resource is now in the top 10 ranking on Amazon

Purchase your copy by clicking on the image below to go straight to Amazon.com!

Teaching Truly

“Masterful and liberatory”- Henry Giroux

“It may be our last hope” -Nancy Turner Banks

“A new way to resist”- John Pilger

“Penetrating, fearless and practical” -Thom Hartman

A first in educational publishing, this text looks at eight common subject areas, from health education and US history to mathematics and geography, and reveals the corporate influence/cultural hegemony that defines mainstream curricula; the consequent failure of schooling to achieve its stated goals; and practical alternative ways to augment the curricula with time-tested approaches to teaching and learning used by traditional Indigenous Peoples for thousands of years to achieve and maintain balance and beauty in social and ecological systems.

Note that all profits from this book will go to worthy American Indian educational associations and foundations. Giving back to the Peoples whose wisdom we borrow is of utmost importance.

Four Arrows, aka Don Trent Jacobs, Ph.D., Ed.D.

Penetrating, fearless and practical, this book offers educators (and anyone else with an interest in our future) a way to create a better world—before it is too late!”—Thom Hartmann

An Important Message from Brian Butler

Lateral Violence has killed our culture!

In some communities it has caused sickness, depression and death.

The one and only solution that will fix it all is through Lateral Love.

Every individual has the ability to do something.

Government are still operating to the British Orders to mandate the Colonial Principles of Oppression that have not yet been legislated to relinquish.

Ask your Government when will they seek to relinquish?

Yours in Unity through Lateral Love & Spirit of Care for all humankind,


? Question of the Day ?

How do you all think we can stamp out Lateral Violence and replace it with Lateral Love in our Families and Communities?

Comments appreciated!

Spirit of Uluru