Welcome International Ambassador Christina Legree [Ontario Canada]

???????????????????????????????A Healing and Education Connection by Christina Legree

“Remember Who You Are” ~ Asha Frost

It was the autumn of 2007 when I first met Dr. Asha Frost. In an office adorned with crystals, earthy pine and floral scents, pictures of beautiful landscapes, aboriginal art and sculptures, sat a young woman in her late 20’s who was very calm and serene. A desk and a bed, plus books about ancient and modern healing arts graced the shelves of a book case. This initial encounter was unusual since I had been expecting to see someone seated in a clinical medical setting who wore the classic white lab jacket.

I introduced myself and she listened intently while I spoke to her about my grief over my first husband’s suicide in September 2005. His suicide had involved serious charges against him by the taxation institution of Canada. My grief was due to the loss of someone I loved unconditionally, and also to anger against a powerful mainstream national institution.

My symptoms of depression also included an inability to focus on anything for long, I had difficulty understanding anything I read, and I felt isolated and wished to continue to live this way. I could not motivate myself to re-invest in life again. I awoke each day, because I believed someone at work needed me, my father needed me, my pets and plants needed me. The anti-depressant medications I had been prescribed were not working!

Before his suicide, I had strong beliefs about my society and I was sure my religious beliefs were correct. I had gathered and passively accepted these beliefs from books, mainstream schools, work experience, the political system, parents, as well as my church. My spouse’s suicide, however, dealt a fatal blow to my beliefs because they became meaningless.

During my visit that day, Asha told me I had lost a great deal of trust. Trust, she advised is what keeps us in a state of good health, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The loss of trust was keeping me in a state of isolation and depression. I recall her telling me that I needed to learn how to live from my heart because my head was full of ‘negative compact discs’ which were constantly repeating negative experiences related to my spouse’s death.

She spoke to me about her health issues and journey of becoming a homeopathic doctor. Her healing methods consisted of homeopathy, and in sharing the benefits of Aboriginal healing practices from her Ojibwe heritage as well as other indigenous cultures. She suggested I learn a new way to gain trust in the universe, meditation and healing from within.

I was shown a diagram of the human body and she explained the parts of the body related to trust, relationships, knowledge, and the spiritual dimension. I was advised to focus on the present time only and on breathing deeply and slowly whenever I became embroiled in negative thinking.

At the time, I also told her about a concept I had recently been exposed to called intuition which was new to me and interesting. I had been reading about it and discussing the benefits of understanding and using intuition with a neighbor who first told me about the importance of using intuition daily. Asha showed enthusiasm and suggested I continue learning more about intuition and the ways it can be applied to my life.

She motioned me to the bed and offered to give me a ‘healing’. When I lay down on the bed, I noticed soft soothing music and a pleasant floral aroma. She said words softly and prayed for me touching me very briefly only three times during this healing. At first when I lay on the bed, I did not believe anything positive would result, but shortly after these thoughts something very special happened. At first, it was a tingling sensation around my ankles, and then I felt that very pleasant sensation proceeding up my legs.

The tingling spread to my torso where it remained throughout the session and this felt like a symphony of warm, pleasant, tingling sensations.  Indeed, these pleasant sensations were not my imagination. They were physical. In my mind, I saw myself in a beautiful garden. Before the healing was completed I felt like there was an opening in my head and a burden was released. Once off the bed, she asked me questions and gave me a homeopathic remedy which would give me more energy and place me in an improved emotional mood.

In the ensuing days, the increase in energy was not dramatic but I noticed I could focus better and complete more tasks in a day. During my first visit she had asked me to visit her each month, but the experience, although positive was nevertheless so alien to my normal way of functioning that I did not return to see her until the spring of 2008. My condition had gradually worsened and I could not relieve myself of the ‘negative compact discs’.

On my next visit, she performed another healing and the effects in her office were not as dramatic as the first time but became more dramatic after I entered my car and drove away.  When I saw her after work it had been late afternoon and so when I left, naturally, the skies should have darkened, but they didn’t for me. They were brighter. I felt as though I were surrounded by a bubble and when I looked out onto the street, I saw people walking, laughing, a woman pushing a stroller with a child and even the trees seemed greener. I felt better!

I had been learning more about intuition and this research was becoming part of my assignments in the master of education program and some of my writing included my visits with Asha. I discovered that intuition was a natural ability within each one of us which guides our lives and relationships. Intuition has a long history and is well respected by many educators, musicians, doctors, scientists and theologians but intuition has not been recognized by the mainstream education system, at least not in Canada.

My training as an elementary school teacher was based on convincing students and parents to adopt a specific paradigm promoted through school subjects and a rigid school structural system which to me became similar to working in factories with specific tasks done at certain times, interrupted by bells indicating times to go outside, times to eat, and to go home.

I came to believe that each person should have the freedom to choose which subject areas, hobbies and careers they wished to pursue. When I researched this idea, I learned some schools were already doing this in the U.S. and in India!

During this time, I was attending Asha’s group meditation sessions throughout the year, and a four week course on learning and healing using indigenous ways. In these sessions, I was given knowledge that was in stark contrast to the ways in which I was teaching and in the ways I had been taught by the mainstream school system. For instance, in one session, while we were sitting comfortably on the floor in a circle she had various objects in the middle with a candle and she advised that all healing comes from within. She said “When you were born, creator knew you would endure a lifetime of joys, sorrows and challenges. A best life path can be discovered through meditation, prayer and learning about your medicine bundle for health and happiness.” She also mentioned that we each have intuitive abilities, a soul, and human, animal spirit guides, angels, and fairies that can help us if we ask for assistance.

During my private sessions with her and in group meditations, she honours our inner visions and dreams. In group sessions, we share our inner visions with one another and offer hope and compassion for individuals in the group. I recall emailing her after a session in which I said I had always been told that healing and medicine were experienced through pills and liquids given by doctors. I had never been advised that healing comes from within and I had access to my own way of learning and healing. These sessions empowered me to learn more about the human brain, the emotions, nutrition, and the body.

I realised Asha was teaching us to honour ourselves as individuals and in group sessions she  honours and invites the spirits of the buffalo, the eagle, the deer and the bear to visit us. She continues to teach us about the importance of honouring Mother Earth and our ancestors. Whenever she mentions healing, I automatically think – education!

In contrast, the mainstream education system imposes a structure known as the transmission position. ‘In the transmission position, the function of education is to transmit facts, skills, and values to students. Specifically, this orientation stresses mastery of traditional school subjects through traditional teaching methodologies, particularly textbook learning (subject orientation); acquisition by students of basic skills and certain cultural values and mores that are necessary in order to function in society (cultural transmission orientation); and the application of mechanistic view of human behavior to curriculum planning, whereby students’ skills are developed through specific instructional strategies (competency-based learning orientation). In this position there is primarily one way movement to convey to students certain skills, knowledge, and values.’ (Miller, & Seller, Curriculum: Perspectives and practice, 1990, pp.5-6)

To me, the transmission orientation became a strategy of assimilation, when compared with Asha’s teachings. Four Arrows, in his book ‘Teaching Truly: A Curriculum to Indigenize Mainstream Education’ refers to the transmission form of education as hegemony (Four Arrows, 2013, Teaching Truly: A Curriculum to Indigenize Mainstream Education). My research about intuition and the transformation orientation in education was supported by a wonderful professor. A course which she offered in Narrative Inquiry was filled with students who were patient and very kind to me during my grief journey and it was this professor who eventually supported my master of education research and book called ‘Intuition: For Education and Healing’. During this time of grief, I’d like to add that staff and students at my school were also very compassionate towards me.

I continue to seek ways in which I can foster Asha’s teachings into the mainstream education system. Including intuition and Indigenous wisdom honours the individual’s experiences and expressions both in words and in deeds. As an extra-curricular activity I offer meditation classes to elementary students, adapting Asha’s ideas and using Indigenous music as well. The first year I offered this program, six to eight students attended regularly, and this year, I have sixteen students.

Whenever I offer an artistic component with mandalas or other themes about thirty-six students attend. When the book by Four Arrows, ‘Teaching Truly : A Curriculum to Indigenize Mainstream Education’ became available I now had a way of including the transformation orientation within my Core French Curriculum and I have contacted Four Arrows with some curriculum plans and examples of work done by students. Recently, I’ve introduced a beautiful tribal play called L’arbre Ungali from French Senegal Africa, and used Four Arrows ideas in his chapters about language and geography in my planning.

I love to know about the personal interests of my students. A ten year old student recently told me she loves to garden and has learned to cultivate and store her own seeds in her house over the cold winter months. Her parents support this hobby. She grows vegetables and flowers.

Another student told me she loves horses and wants to have a horse farm teaching others to enjoy horseback riding and also have a horse and donkey rescue area as part of her farm. I see myself as a teacher who supports the aspirations of my students.

Asha has often repeated her famous statement, “Remember Who You Are”. I’ve learned to make my passions and interest my priority. I love water, and swimming, so I learned to scuba dive during my grief journey. I promote the value of water by treating it well at the source through a filtration system, and not using plastic water bottles.

I love animals so I feed wild birds, a squirrel, and I’ve increased the number of pets in my household. I volunteer for an animal shelter and support organizations dedicated to helping wildlife. I love gardening so I’ve learned to compost indoors over the winter with about 400 little friends who are worms. I support organic farmers and protest genetically altered crops.

I’ve also remarried and although I am an only child, I now have more sisters and brothers through my husband’s family.

Education continues to be my passion.

Since 2005, my mental health has improved fantastically despite periodic bouts of anxiety, being scattered, and being unable to focus. Therefore I continue to see Asha on a regular basis in her private practice and through group meditations.

Asha has told me several times that she sometimes wishes she became an elementary school teacher since she loves children. I tell her she is a teacher … she is the teacher of the teacher.

References

Four Arrows, (2013) Teaching Truly: A Curriculum to Indigenize Mainstream Education: Peter Lang Publishing Inc.

Asha Frost, (2007 – 2013) Communications during private and group sessions: York Region, Ontario, Canada

Miller, J.P. & Seller, W. (1990) Curriculum: Perspectives and practice. Canada: Copp, Clark Pitman.

Lets go back to the beginning to understand why we are doing what we do …

What is Lateral Violence?

Back in 2012 the sad news of the passing of a young girl in a remote community who was subjected to ongoing lateral violence really impacted on us here at Lateral Love.

As part of our going back to the beginning posts we are revisiting Part 2 today to remind ourselves of our original purpose in tackling these serious issues in the way that we have.

Lateral violence is present at every single level within our society and when we start to recognise the behaviours in ourselves and others, we can really see the level of reach where this debilitating negative practice has taken a strong hold.

Please read our perspectives with an open mind and an open heart and if this resonates with you please share with as many people as you can with the aim of starting the conversations within your own families and communities.

Lateral violence is an extremely personal and confronting topic, through our experience every individual does have different feelings about it. Because of this there is no room for malice and cultural safety should be the ultimate priority for us all to allow the conversations that need to take place.

We must all come together and share our information whilst trying not to overreact on a personal level.

This aspect alone is terribly confronting, even with all the knowledge and understanding that continue to grow within both myself and Uncle Brian as individuals around lateral violence and lateral love, it is a daily effort to keep our own minds on task and dealing with the ingrained lateral violence is a personal choice and battle we also face. This internal chatter, what we refer to as ‘the lateral violence in your head’ is what manifests into confusion, misconceptions and poor communication, and ultimately leads to feelings that impact on our own self worth and capabilities.

The difficulty comes not only for each of us as individuals in attempting to manage our own personal feelings and responses, but also with the family, friends and colleagues that we choose to share with, and the difficult conversations that this topic will undoubtedly bring to the surface.

We know it requires strength and courage to deal with these issues and conversations, but we have faith that each and every one of us can push beyond our everyday limitations for the sake of our children and the generations yet to come.

Some of the feelings we can expect to be exposed include, but are not limited to, the following:

– Anger

– Disappointment

– Fear

– Grief

– Guilt

– Isolation

– Feeling Overwhelmed

– Relief

– Sadness

– Shame

– Threatened and Defensive

One thing is for certain, we will all have a different reaction, view and perspective which will need to be respected and nurtured along the way. It is ok to have a different oppinion to others, and we must learn to communicate respectfully and to allow this difference without getting caught up in the conflict and drama that many of us have been used to in the past.

Each of us will be ready to deal with our layers of trans-generational trauma, pain and suffering in our own space and time, but the one thing we can do collectively is have the strength to lead by example and with conviction. Start the awkward conversations and force ourselves to share information regardless of ego or personal gain. Share with each other and bring back to life that lore that gave us our beautiful ways, our caring, sharing, nurturing, love and respect.

Lateral violence happens to all people, within all cultures across the world, but the type of lateral violence we started talking about back in 2012 related specifically to Aboriginal and Islander people in this country, our own families and communities.

As Aboriginal people, the first nations people of this land we need a collective healing and we need it to come from within our own families and communities. Aboriginal people need to reconcile the rift that was created when this land was colonised.

Whilst we were denigrated to the flora and fauna act, our land, spirit and culture was divided up and handed out to the subjects of the crown as parcels of land (our land that was declared terra nullias) with which to form the stability and foundations for their children and grandchildren to prosper into the collective non-Aboriginal Australian society where many enjoy what has become know as ‘the lucky country’ over the past 300 years. Aboriginal people were systematically stripped of this very same priviledge, there was no more stability and foundation for us to continue to propser as we had done for 800,000 years prior to colonisation, to hand down to our children and grandchildren.

In no way does this conversation take away from the pain and suffering of any other culture or their experiences as this too would be a form of lateral violence. Our dead people are equally as important as every other person dead people, all of us who have experienced losing a loved one at the hand of lateral violence or through suicide are equally devestating.

There is healing required on such a vast scale that if every initiative could be built on Caring, Sharing, Nurturing, Love and Respect what a change we could expect to see. These principals need to take front and centre in all of our thought processes, actions and conversations, in everything we do.

Each and every person within our immediate circle needs to feel loved, valued and appreciated for the shift in consciousness to occur and create the ripple effect out into our families, communities and societies at large. When we do this and our motivations are for nothing more that the betterment of the human condition, the sky really is the limit.

We have chosen to utilise modern technology to share this information as widely as possible and in doing so have found it necessary to address some social networking issues immediately as they link directly to lateral violence.

Social networking is a wonderful tool that we can use to connect and indeed, re-connect with many people as technology bridges distance that is no longer a barrier to caring and sharing. The lack of verbal and non-verbal cues which become lost through this form of communication does however run the risk of causing additional distress to people on a journey of healing.

We all need to remember this when reading and posting on threads and other peoples pages and walls. What we share in cyberspace it is there forever! How it translates to the receiver may not be how it sounded in our mind when we typed our views or responses.

Most importantly, when we are hurt and our spirit is low we can feel threatened and if we are not particularly good at managing our feelings and emotions what comes out can be very negative or abusive particularly online. This is also a form of Lateral violence and can very quickly escalate to cyber bullying.

Please, and we cannot stress this point enough, when you read something disrespectful and negative about yourself, it leaves an imprint on our minds and reinforces into our subconscious much longer than that which is spoken verbally in the heat of debate.

From our own personal experience we know the damage that can come from a text message or email sent in the heat of emotion, unfortunately it can be read and re-read with the negative message reaching our loved ones again and again. We may get over whatever it was that caused our initial distress, but we can not erase the message from our loved ones phone or computer causing irreversible damage that can take years to repair and as we have all seen in mainstream media, this type of behaviour has also lead some people to suicide.

The reason we need to understand the true meaning of lateral violence is this; our children need to move beyond the survival mechanisms that we, the older generations, needed to survive. This survival instinct served us well and allowed you and I to be here, and yes we did survive. Our children need us to come together and give them a strong base of solidarity and culture to help them to grow and shape their way into the future; a solid base that is free from the binds of lateral violence and oppression and is firmly rooted in lateral love and the principals of caring, sharing, nurturing, love and respect.

Again the wisdom of Auntie Cheri Yavu Kama Harathunian explains lateral violence in a way that resonates with us and expresses the true meaning that we are speaking about on this journey, “This ‘yellow snake’, this lateral violence has been curled up in our peoples living moments for three centuries, because it sinuously crawled amongst our peoples for over the last 300 years. We were not only forced to suffer the invasion of 1788. We have been carrying that suffering with us all of this time and our ancestors learned very well and copied the violence that was perpetrated against them and used what they learned to ensure that with violence they would individually survive”…”Even in our survival techniques there was violence, because peoples had to go up against each other, go up against their loved ones, anyone that they saw who was a threat to their own survival. We learned to turn our faces away from each other, and began to wear ‘Big Shame’ in our waking and sleeping hours. We learned to be ‘takers’ not ‘givers’ and then the government blest us with welfare and for years we did not realise it but our minds were being conditioned to accept that this was our lot and we developed and then suffered from and some of us still suffer from a welfare mentality. We learned that it was okay to hit, stamp on, fight with, brutalise, torment each other just to get on, and become like the invaders because they were getting a better deal out of life”. “We were taught by religion that “White was right and black was evil”. and we learned to hate ourselves, our culture, our languages, and our own God given ways of being who we are; First Nations peoples with many nation names.  Political violence forced our ancestors to become slaves, victims and perpetrators of the violence that seemed to work and help the invaders get on and become something.  We turned into each other, and began to practice the violence that we saw and here we are today.  But it is our young, our beautiful young ones who now openly manifest this insidious thing that takes them to that place where they feel so hopeless and helpless. They go to that bleak place where for them the only solution to their pain is to take control of their own choice to take their most precious gift – life – and they choose to go to sleep forever to ease their suffering and their pain and their disconnection from themselves, their family, their people, their culture, and their sacred lands. They haven’t even lived! That ‘yellow snake’ that Lateral violence has to be addressed”. ~ Cheri Yavu Kama Harathunian 2012

We need to go beyond the surface of what we know, beyond the reactionary world we have come to live by that has done its darnedest to numb our spirituality and ignore our souls original purpose. Knowing lateral violence, and that it has underpinned our existence, is the first step to healing for each and every one of us.

We commend you all for being open and taking the time to read about this important subject. No matter how painful it is, things can only improve through our understanding and support of one another.

SHARE THIS INFORMATION WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW, LEAVE IT IN THE LUNCH ROOM AT WORK, THE RECEPTION ROOM AT THE DOCTORS, THE BUS SHELTER, FORWARD IT, COPY AND PASTE IT, PRINT IT OUT AND TAKE IT HOME TO ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS WHO DO NOT HAVE COMPUTERS, SHARE THE INFORMATION, RAISE AWARENESS AND HEAL OUR SPIRITS!

FOR OUR OWN HEALING AND FOR THE SAKE OF OUR CHILDREN!

CANADA Kweykway – Newsletter

KWEYKWAY Consulting Newsletter

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Making Sense of the Senseless…

Normally around this time of year I’d be inclined to write about the anticipation and busy-ness that fall brings. Back to school and back to work, new beginnings…the end of summer. However, my heart breaks as I absorb the news of a 6-year-old boy’s tragic and unnecessary death at the hands of a 12 year old on Kahkewistahawin First Nation reserve in Saskatchewan, Canada. Just 6 years old! The same age as my oldest son. I send my deepest condolences to this boy’s family and community and my heart goes out to every parent who has lost a child to unnecessary violence. How do we even begin to make sense of the senseless? How do we explain what would cause a 12 -year old boy to erupt in such violence towards a much younger, vulnerable child? When I heard of this tragic event my husband Jay said… “you must write about this in your tip. You need to share what you know about aggression and violence and it’s root causes”. So…here I am writing about it in the hopes that what I have learned can help those caring for children. Please know that my intention is not to alarm anyone but to increase awareness and insight! I know all too well the anxiety we experience as parents as we send our children off to school. To be separated from them for long periods of time knowing the many frustrations they encounter during their day. The academic and social pressures that even us adults would have a difficult time with. With bullying on the rise it is more important than ever to ensure our children are safe. Most bullying interventions being undertaken are ineffective. Attempts to address the social arena amongst peers is not working. What is actually needed are stronger attachments between children and adults. This is where the focus should be. Parents and care givers require insight into the children in their care and a willingness to do whatever it takes to ensure our children grow up safe and are able to reach their potential. So…I will endeavor to provide some useful information and insight to those who are interested.

Having just come out of the Neufeld Intensive III (www.neufeldinstitute.com

) in August and having embarked on my first year of Advanced Studies with the Neufeld Institute where I’m learning Dr. Neufeld’s developmental attachment paradigm I have gained some insight as to why these acts of violence occur. Although my newfound insight doesn’t make it any easier to accept that such horrific acts of violence are happening in the world it does provide me with a sense of hope. It would be easy at this point to attempt to attribute blame as a way of coping with the stark reality of this incident. Some may say it was the reserve environment or perhaps the child welfare system, or the parents, or the school system, or the foster parents, residential school or video games. I can imagine that many heated conversations surrounding this tragic loss are occurring. Unfortunately laying blame won’t change a thing for either of these little boys. Of course, I understand that for reasons of social justice we must hold someone accountable, however, it becomes even more complex when the so called perpetrator in this case is a child too and as much a victim in all of this. Society wants easy answers, quick solutions and to find whoever is at fault, but as I said, this does not help us understand how to reduce and prevent violence. There are no easy answers or short cuts here.

The reason for escalating violence, loss of empathy and a hardening amongst our youth has been a long time brewing. Research shows that youth today have 80% less empathy than they did 20 years ago. As we focus our attention on priorities other than raising our children we have stopped paying attention to some of the tell tale signs that a child’s heart is hardening. Instead we see disorders and accept diagnoses and are quick to medicate our children upon the recommendation of experts who know less about our children than we do. All the while the developmental needs of the child are rarely considered. At least not considered in the context of attachment and keeping a child’s heart soft and emotions in tact. As Dr. Neufeld says “emotion is the engine of maturation”. In other words we must be able to fully feel all of our vulnerable emotions in order to fully develop and reach our human potential. Otherwise we get stuck! Once a child’s heart hardens the trouble begins. The brain atrophies upon loss of vulnerability and along with it the instinct to care. Too much wounding leads to hardening. No safe place to have one’s tears leads to further hardening. Take a child who has experienced much wounding with no caring adult to provide safety then you get a recipe for aggression and violence. This is when we start to see problems in our children such as dominance, bullying, suicide, addictions and cutting to name a few. Even worse…the child who had heart has hardened losses the ability to see trouble coming and to stay out of harms way making them easy targets. Unfortunately, to the untrained eye the loss of vulnerability in a child looks like a behavior problem whereas insight enables us to look beyond the surface to what can’t be seen nor measured. This insight is exactly what is needed in order to prevent further escalation of violence amongst our youth.

So I’ll do my best at providing a bit of insight to everyone inclined to read this tip. My hope is that if you have a child in your life that is at risk that you will be able to support that child effectively and prevent unnecessary aggression and violence.

What is at the root of Aggression and Violence?
Frustration is a root emotion that all feeling mammals experiences. It is a triggered emotion that actually cannot be avoided. When something is not working for us we become frustrated. In fact, we can be frustrated without feeling it! When our children experience frustration they need our help to identify and process it. It needs to come out. So many things don’t work for children. Just being a child is a frustrating experience let alone all the additional frustrations life offers. If a child is frustrated and has nobody to help them process it effectively it can turn to aggression very quickly. Once it has erupted into aggression it can be come very alienating for a child and ironically the way most adults respond to this aggression perpetuates the cycle. So we have a frustrated child who has erupted in aggression…biting, spiting, hitting, kicking, yelling, etc. and the adults are unwittingly responding in ways that actually increase frustration and the cycle of aggression. Eventually, this child will grow into an adult who has not developed the ability to manage frustration and will most likely be highly aggressive and even violent.

What is most frustrating for children?
What is most frustrating for a child is when their attachments are not working and they are facing separation. When I use the term separation I am referring to not only physical separation but emotional and psychological separation as well. For younger children it is harder to bare the physical separations like daycare, preschool, school, and foster care. However, whenever our children feel unloved, not favored, ignored, not important, not special, not smart enough, not belonging, not mattering, and not being understood they face separation. This is incredibly wounding for our children and has a profound and lasting impact on they way they develop. When our children face separation an alarm system is activated in the brain for the purposes of restoring proximity to those to whom the child is attached. Once proximity is restored and the alarm system comes to rest the child often will experience higher levels of frustration. This explains perfectly why my son often displays high levels of frustration and sometimes aggression after a tough day at school. Important to note that peer attachments are a breeding ground for violence simply because they can’t provide the closeness kids need and result in elevated levels of frustration and inevitably aggression that can lead to violence if left untempered.

What is Displaced Aggression?
If our child is frustrated and does not feel safe to express this frustration and aggression within their existing attachments they will hold it for a later time and most likely let is out on a more vulnerable being and in a context in which they feel safe. A younger sibling, pet, or on the playground. For instance, when my son erupts if I punish him for it he will repress it and it will come out later. Frustration must come out and if it can’t come out in a safe zone with caregivers it will come out in uncivilized and aggressive ways. It’s inevitable.

What do children need?
All children need an attachment to at least one caring adult who is willing to assume 100% responsibility for them. A child needs to feel unconditionally invited to exist in one’s presence. Development is a messy experiences in which we need to be able feel the entire range of emotions from disappointment to joy. Our job as adults is to create space for our children in their entirety. To help them identify and feel their most vulnerable emotions. We must come alongside our child’s frustration, make room for it and help them with learning to process it so it does not turn into aggression. Without our help children living with many things not working for them are at much higher risk of erupting in aggression and violence. What this means for us parents is that This we too must take up a relationship and make room for our frustrations too. What we can’t make room for in ourselves neither can our children.

So…I encourage you all to continue to strive for insight into the children in your care…whether a parent, teacher, social worker or foster parent. Only insight can provide us with the understanding required to keep our children safe!

Watch The Video Now!

“In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

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Lateral Love Australia Welcomes Rob Edwards

 

Lateral Love Australia welcomes Ambassador – Rob Edwards

“The Decade of Lateral Love Around the World 2012 – 2022″

www.lateralloveaustralia.com

“The time is always right to do what is right.” Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Just what don’t they understand?

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Life long advocate for change for our people, Brian Butler questions “Just what don’t they understand? The only thing that is going to solve the problems of this country is LATERAL LOVE, yet we still hear people say “what are we going to do?”.

‘They’ being humanity collectively, all people, our own people, people working on committees, on boards and within institutions, Government and non-Government agencies, the whole lot!
 
The only way to move forward from this dire position we find ourselves in, is through Aboriginalisation of mainstream policies, practices and programs and it starts with each and every one of us in our own homes, within our own families and communities.
 
Lateral Love is built on the core principles of Sharing, Caring, Nurturing, Love and Respect as the way forward for all of humanity, most importantly for our Aboriginal and Islander (including the Torres Strait) children and grandchildren to be enabled to reach their full potential by severing, once and for all, the negative cord to trans-generational and inter-generational trauma.
Contact Brian Butler on:
Nicci & Brian
Telephone: +61419801085